Monday, February 7, 2011

Her Mama's Daughter

As you all know...I'm perfect. And if I'm not, I do my best to make sure you do not find out. It is hard to be so perfect and I'm afraid I may have passed this gift? of perfection on to my daughter.

After school today we were all happy and "kicking it" around the kitchen table. We were coloring, working on homework and getting a head start on our Valentines when Lauren asked me if I thought Tyler had ever been "spoken to" at school. ("Spoken to"???) I immediately (maybe too immediately) told her "No way!" and then she told me that she had been, twice. She then burst into tears. (Her, going from playful joy to immediate tears, broke my heart.)

The next thirty minutes consisted of me trying to calm her down (from her hyperventilating cry) and find out what was going on while she repeatedly told me she didn't want to tell me what happened. In my mind I was thinking she punched a classmate, cursed out her teacher or sprayed graffiti on the playground. She was THAT upset.

She finally confessed that she was mean to her teacher but she didn't want to tell me anything else. So, I started asking questions:

Me: Did you say something mean to your teacher or anyone else?
L: No.

Me: Were you disrespectful?
L: No.

Me: Did you talk back to her?
L: No.

She was still sobbing so I took her up to her bedroom for some private girl talk. I was finally able to get the whole story. The whole story about the two times she had been "spoken to."

incident #1:
She said she was being mean to her teacher but...

She was organizing her pencil box when her teacher told her (in front of the whole class) it was not the time to do that. She said she cried a little.

incident #2:
She said she was being mean to her teacher but...

She was talking in line as the class made their way to the lunch room. Her teacher told her (in front of the whole class) not to talk while they walked to the lunch room. She didn't tell me but I'm sure she cried a little.

My daughter is such a great and normal...talking in line and organizing her stuff...kid. She's obviously much harder on herself than anyone is on her. (Maybe a bit like her Mama?)

After her tearful and choking confession I told her a (true) story about how I once felt embarrassed in front of my teacher and classmates. It was in middle school. For 15 weeks or longer I did not misspell a single word on our weekly spelling tests. I knew this and the entire class knew this. I was the only one not to misspell a spelling word since school started. Well, you may not believe this but I eventually misspelled a word. The teacher announced it and then the class let me hear about it. I remember being so embarrassed and being so wrong that I actually ran from the classroom and took refuge in a school bathroom stall. Eventually they found me and my parents were called in. (The school actually told my parents to lighten up on me!! ha! My parents had to tell them this pressure was self-imposed.)

After hearing my story Lauren smiled a teary eyed smile. I don't think this will change her disposition but maybe she'll think about it the next time she is 'spoken to' by her teacher for doing something a normal kid does.

She is most definitely "Her Mama's Daughter"

While we where having our girl talk in Lauren's bedroom I told her I wouldn't tell her Dad or any other boys. So if she asks, you didn't hear it from me. (Lauren, if you are reading this sometime in the future...I apologize and I LOVE YOU exactly as your are!)


Anonymous said...

I'm sure you already said this (being the perfect mom that you are) but maybe you could tell her your friend who is a first grade teacher said that teachers just like to remind kids and that sometimes we have to remind the "great" kids too because we all make mistakes.
Oh...and you can also say (even though this is not true) that we sometimes have to talk to the "great" kids so the not so great kids don't feel so bad. :-)

Anne C. said...

That comment was from Anne C. I forgot to sign my name. :)

brian said...

great ending to the post. i hope she reads this in the future regardless if she remembers the "spoken to" or not.